Wouldn’t it be simpler if we could just blow up invading aliens?

As I sat watching Will Smith fight a evil insectoid alien during Independence Day last night I couldn’t help feeling wistful. If only I could fight climate change with a cocky smile, a cigar and a witty ‘welcome to earth’ punch.

How smoothly would international carbon agreements, behaviour change and innovation come if some nasty tentacled thing was causing the planet to burn. The Los Angeles Times played with this idea in If Only Gay Sex Caused Global Warming, although personally I think invading aliens make a juicer common climate enemy.

Then perhaps we could expect real (i.e. Hollywood-esque) leadership – cue music welling up and lights dimming…

“I address you tonight, not as the president of the United States, not as the leader of a country, but as a citizen of humanity. We are faced with the very gravest of challenges, the greatest challenge we have every faced. And yet for the first time in the history of the planet, a species has the technology and ability to prevent its own extinction.

..cut to families watching the TV around the kitchen table, crowds gathering outside electrical stores drawn in to the face shown across multiple screens…

All of you praying with us need to know that everything that can be done to prevent this disaster is being called into service. The human thirst for excellence, for knowledge, every step up the ladder of science, every adventurous reach into space, all of our combined modern technologies and imaginations, even the wars that we’ve fought, have provided us the tools to wage this terrible climate battle. Through all the chaos that is our history, through all of the wrongs and the discord, through all of the pain and suffering through all of our times, there is one thing that has nourished our souls. And elevated our species above its origins. And that is our courage.

…man in field leans on a spade listening to his radio, children in schoolroom face the TV as the teacher slowly stands…

Dreams of an entire planet are focused today on our goal. Each of us will need to exhibit that bravery, sacrifice and courage other generations have expected of their best, of their heroes. Today you are that hero. And may we all, citizens the world over, see these events through.

God speed and good luck to you.”

(adapted from Armageddon – another of my wish fulfilment favourites)

Climate denier and activist alike could stand shoulder to shoulder shooting at the sky.

A recognised ‘baddy’ of climate change, an outside influence, a moral anathema would be so much easier to fight than the simple accumulation of carbon from billions of us lovely, normal, everyday people going about our business. We’re supposed to be either the victims, or preferably the plucky rebels fighting against evildoers attempting the destroy the world.

If only.