50 Shades of GreenPosted by solitaire in blog July 20, 2012
“That is a magnificent sight Mr Field” her dark eyes gazed at me, judging and calculating “I like huge, hard and powerful things”. My insides clenched at her strident, assertive tone. Was she playing with me again. She bit her crimson bottom lip in a rare moment of fragility that only I noticed, and almost whispered to herself “if only we had more of them”.
As we walked away from the towering wind turbine the breeze caught her hair and whipped it across her face. Jeez, how did I get myself into this I asked myself for like the millionth time. My inner god laughed himself silly while my subconscious read the Copenhagen Accord.
Back at the house things got so serious so quickly I didn’t have time to think. Her fingers pressed down against mine, hard. An edge of pain that was almost pleasurable. The light switches clicked under the combined weight of us. Again and again all over the house. Every light switched off, until my body felt like it would melt with the ecstasy in the profound, symbolic darkness.
I thought that would be enough to sate her, but she was only getting started. Those mysterious eyes were demanding, almost cruel. Her fingertips brushed against her lips as she slowly, wantonly calculated the carbon. “I want to show you the Playroom”. It was almost a challenge. “You can leave any time Mr Field, but remember the resource implications of short journeys”. Well Ms Green I thought, you might be cool and suave but hell, I’m an environmentalist too. I pushed open the door with trepidation and kicked the sinuous draught excluder out of my path with more confidence than I really felt.
And stepped into Nigels Eco-store. Where the hell was I? Her hand glided lovingly over the cool, pure-white coil of a low energy lightbulb, and rested languorously on the largest and most intimidating compost bin I’d ever seen. “Would you like to feel the thickness of the insulation” she teased “or perhaps a little gentle recycling to get you warmed up”
Five minutes later, sweat pouring off my brow a tiny gasp escaped my lips. Over and over and over again I crushed the cans, changing the rhythm to keep things interesting, as she, so delicately, slipped them into the monstrous, almost medieval machine. She held my stare, how much more of this could I take? What more could she want from me. But I’d underestimated the depth of Ms Greens commitment to sustainable development. She stood there, so beautiful my very being squirmed with pleasure to look at her.
A tiny smile played across her lips “let’s go to the farmers market” she breathed. Jeez, how could she be so cool about a thing like that. “I want to watch you taste organic, bite down on locally sourced, sink your teeth into something fruity and fairly traded” I gasped but she pushed on “you’ll learn to love leftovers Mr Field”.
So righteous, so worthy, so damn hot. All she wanted was my complete and utter submission to intergenerational equity. And what did I get in return? Her. Only I knew her perfectly cut skirts were swished, her hair smelling EU eco-label sweet, her body lithe and lathered in sustainable palm oil.
Butterflies flooded my belly, panthers stalked through my pounding heart and a salty flood of phytoplankton is released from somewhere inside me. What drove her, was it intrinsic values or aspirational status that created this beautiful monster?
Who cares I thought as she plunged my hands deep deep inside her warm frothy Ecover bubbles…
[to be continued]
A little Friday fun from Soli and Ed
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July 20, 2012
Pity that her knickers were 50 shades of grey from prolonged Ecover use. : – (
July 20, 2012
oh yes, yes…give me more of your green filth! 0