“I just don’t think we are communicating here.  I’m trying to explain but you aren’t listening.”

I was listening.  My accountant had just informed me that she would be charging me £70 (plus VAT) to complete a form for our good friends at Inland Revenue.  A service she was providing to me – but one which I did not request.  On my protest she became quite animated – actually, annoyed and curt are better adjectives.

She probably forgot for a minute that I was her customer. And that if I didn’t understand what she was attempting to explain to me, that it was an issue with the way she was trying to give me information.  

It is easier to blame the receiver for not  “getting it” than to amend our message and try again.  In this case, I was being told I had to do something which I had not agreed to (and that was going to leave me lighter in the purse!).  Rather than taking the time to explain how her service would benefit me, save me time, hassle and worry, my accountant got angry and accused me of being thick.

My automatic reaction to this is what we call psychological reactance – or the “sod off factor”.

I’m currently looking for a new accountant.

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